Somebody That I Used To Know

Now and then I think of when we were together
Like when you said you felt so happy you could die 
Told myself that you were right for me
But felt so lonely in your company
But that was love and it's an ache I still remember...

it's hard not to think of those moments. the small happy ones. my brain knows that my heart blinded me and that you were completely toxic to my being. The neediness, the negativity - I became attached to you as you did to me. One semester of happiness is all I seem to remember in the midst of all the bad. So many times I wanted to break up but I didn't know how. I didn't know how to fail.

You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness
Like resignation to the end, always the end
So when we found that we could not make sense
Well you said that we would still be friends
But I'll admit that I was glad that it was over

I didn't know how to fail but I wanted to so badly. I wanted to stay friends in the midst of everything and yet deep down we both knew that was a bad idea. There would always be resentment. There would always be anger. Fighting. 

But you didn't have to cut me off
Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing
And I don't even need your love
But you treat me like a stranger and that feels so rough
No you didn't have to stoop so low
Have your friends collect your records and then change your number
I guess that I don't need that though
Now you're just somebody that I used to know.

The best way to sum up everything I feel. It's weird that this song is just now getting popular. But when I think of you I feel like I don't know who you are, what you stand for, or if i ever even knew you at all. It's not hard for me to look back on what happened because all I can think of is how glad I am that it's over. But at the moment when you cut me off, I'm not going to say it didn't hurt. And all I got in response was 'take care' That's all you were good for though. You were always shifting in emotions. I could never get a straight read. Straight. Hah. How ironic is that?

Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over
But had me believing it was always something that I'd done
But I don't wanna live that way
Reading into every word you say
You said that you could let it go
And I wouldn't catch you hung up on somebody that you used to know

The cheating, the lying, the fights. Now that I think about it, you always used to spin it on me. That it was my fault. That I was making you unhappy. That you didn't know who to turn to. And yet I kept taking you back. All the bullshit excuses. All the pain and worry I went through were all in vain. You did it to yourself. You did it me ME and yet I was to blame for all of it. It took me a long time to get over that. And a long time to forgive myself for being such an idiot because you shouldn't have been worth my time from the very beginning. 

But you didn't have to cut me off
Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing
And I don't even need your love
But you treat me like a stranger and that feels so rough
And you didn't have to stoop so low
HAve your friends collect your records and then change your number
I guess that I don't need that though
Now you're just somebody that I used to know.

But now you're somebody that I used to know. And I'm at peace with that. Thank you. Thank you for everything you did. I'll always remember you as the girl that taught me everything not to do in a relationship. Thank you for teaching me that I deserve someone better and what standards I have for my next relationship. Thank you for being somebody that I used to know.

 

And for the best version of this song check this out:

(Lyrics from 'Somebody That I Used to Know' - Gotye ft Kimbra)